The morning of the 7th the Nicu called me at noon and told me she was hurting bad and fighting the vents and her bp and oxygen levels weren't doing well. and we needed to get up there asap. I started bawling. I knew what was happening. The day before we'd gone to see Calypso and then I'd had a drs appointment and then Raeden did too and I was tired and DH went up to say Goodbye to Calypso and I didn't. On the way home I freaked out and told him if something happened I would hate myself for not telling her goodbye. Oh God I never told her goodbye and the next day she died. We were 10 minutes out of Indianapolis nearing Riley when the NICU Dr. called again, you could tell from his voice things were bad. He said to get the whole family up there. I practically ran to the NICU and there was THE sign, that horrible horrible sign 'The NICU is Temporarily Closed' For any NICU mom they KNEW what this meant. A baby was passing or had passed away. I went in to see my princess as we waited for DH to get up there. I sang to her OUR lullabye. JUST ours Hine, E Hine. Dh got there and we talked to the Dr's. They told us her oxygen sats had been below 60 for too long. There was too much fluid on her lungs and while they could TRY another proceedure there was almost no chance of it working. So we made the decision and we took her off the vent. Here's my journal entry from that day SATURDAY, JULY 07, 2007 06:18 PM, CDT Calypso Paikea Rhyder got her angel wings today 7/7/07. People say 777 is heaven's number and today I truly believe that. As we were on our way to the NICU this morning about 10 minutes outside of Indy the dr called and told us that her oxygen sats had been under 60 for 4 hours and we needed to hurry because we were loosing her. When we got there I called my parents and we went in to see her and talked to the doctors. I could tell just by looking at her it was obvious she was already almost gone. The drs said they could try another procedure that had little chance of working or take her off the vent. We chose to let her go. The hardest thing we've ever done in our life. But doing the right thing is not always easy. As I held my angel today they baptized her and my girls got to come in and to see her. And my mom and my mil held her. Then we went to the other room and they were taking her off the vent and were going to bring her to us. Oh Lord she fought! Even without the ventilator in my arms I could hear her gurgling and trying to breathe and I wanted to DIE. I was killing my baby and letting her die. My angel went to heaven in a room surrounded by my family and dh's family. We don't have an exact time of death because she died in our arms. They dressed her in an outfit and wrapped her in a blanket and brought her back to us again to love on her. Before we left they gave us the clothes and the blanket she had been wearing as well as a lot of mementos. They did foot prints and hand prints and casts of her hands and feet which they will mail to us. We got a baptism certificate as well as a large teddy bear with a card that reads 'I know that this little teddy bear could never heal your broken heart or replace your child but, it will give you something to hold on to. These teddy bears were given in memory of children that were called back to Heaven far too soon. This teddy bear was given in memory of Scottie Michael Mullenix with love from his family' And it has a picture of an angel on it. We also got every blanket and hat and anything that Calypso had used in the NICU. My soul is half missing and it will never be whole until the day I am reunited with my princess.